This Messianic Passover Haggadah will help you in a study of the Passover or in leading your own telling in a celebration in your home or community.  I hope you will be blessed.

 

Messianic-Passover-Haggadah5775

This is another article that we have moved over to Thomas Talks!

I hope you’re enjoying the new site and if there are any subjects you would like to see addressed there please let me know!

If you don’t know what dress I am talking about you must not be on any social media and I am even more grateful you found me and are reading this!

This  is the dress that launched 1,000+ Facebook and Twitter posts, as well as offline discussion and mention on the nightly news.

To be up front about it, I am part of #teamgoldandwhite, but people I love dearly see the blue and black like some of you. I still love them. ;). I am very fascinated by the ideas that have been put forth attempting to explain the phenomenon involved and I welcome anyone to post links to valiant efforts in the comments section.

What I find even more fascinating is what the interactions over this issue are revealing about us as individuals and communities.  Here are 10 things I have observed.

1) Some people really need things to be black OR white. They are not comfortable in the realm of gray.

As someone who prefers all of the in between, it might be better to say I love the full spectral range of color.  It really is like some people are looking at gray scale and others are working in a whole different color palette.

This first point is one of the most fundamental differences I was aware of in all of this – people simply see the world, and interact with it – differently. Rarely does anything create such an instantly polarizing reaction, but this is at the heart of it all!

It is okay for those who are in a black and white world to hold to their perception. It is also okay for those of us who see all the colors to be very comfortable mixing and matching! It doesn’t mean we have no values or want to spin into anarchy. It just means we might wear sunglasses you don’t understand  and, occasionally, might see a picture on the internet that we really see differently than you.

I think one reason this particular issue was so upsetting to some is that most of the black and white thinkers that I know have at least come to terms and/or learned to live with the fact that others don’t agree with them on everything. They might believe in their soul the other person is wrong (unless they disagree on the issue of whether or not we have a soul, in which case please feel free to correct my efforts as needed in order to interact with my proposed idea), but they have come to terms with the reality that other people are sometimes wrong and at some point will let it go.

For example, they may accept that you loved the movie Dumb and Dumber by simply determining you must be the dumbest and they will have to endure you. (Okay, I admit it, I hated that movie – and Napoleon Dynamite – and even though I really do sing with all the colors of the wind I also get judgey about people liking them. I am human.)

Unlike movies or music or tv shows – things we know people hold varied opinions on – this is the very reality of vision and what we literally see before our eyes. We might disagree on the value of Napoleon Dynamite (it really is a very bad movie – I am sorry – it just was 😉 ) we all can agree on what was actually in the movie! With this dress, we found ourselves looking at the exact same screen, at the exact same picture, and disagreeing on the colors we saw. And not just in a “Is that turquoise or teal?” way – a disagreement my dear friend and I spent literally HOURS over, including many web image searches and even some paint swatches at a later date :). This is black and blue verses white and gold!

Is it really possible that the diversity in people impacts more of how we experience and interact with our world than we ever realized?

2) Some people need to be right and cannot accept two separate and diverse ‘rights.’

One of my favorite little cartoons is a stick figure on a computer. Another stick figure asks if they will be coming to bed anytime soon and they respond, “I can’t, someone on the internet is wrong.” 

Before we wrestle with too much of the metaphysical here, let’s just admit that everyone wants to be right – but some have a deep need to be right. I am fine entering that realm when the issue is a factual thing. When it isn’t, I am fine letting your world be beautiful with your neon (or whatever color you want to argue it is)! 5 children broke me of that. Now the main thing I resist is someone’s insistence that not only are they right, but that makes me wrong. Because, really, at the end of the day you can only see the dress the way you see the dress. To insist otherwise is to dismiss the other person’s equally real experience.

I see this in a lot of posts and memes insisting that things ‘simply are’ … whatever the issue is. One recently insisted everyone’s life is what it is because of nothing but the choices you have made. Or, put another way, if your life sucks it’s your fault. At one level I don’t disagree, but more in the sense that an empowered person will be able to perceive more choices and make healthier choices and can change their life from anything to something better! Where I disagree is with the assumption that everyone is empowered enough to even recognize that they can make choices that could change their life, or that a different life is even possible.

Empowered people can sit and talk all day about what unempowered people are doing wrong, but unless they work to actually empower them, it’s that proverbial clanging gong or banging brass.

But back to this dress, you can’t empower someone to see what they cannot see. And, honestly, we wouldn’t agree on which group needs to be empowered here. There really is no factual right or wrong to the question, “What colors do you see when you look at this dress?”

Of course, to be fair, the question was generally posed as, “What color is this dress?” Some people seemed to take this as presenting a question that was factually based. I saw it as a phrasing intended to set the person answering up for assuming there would be no disagreement – or at least a disagreement on nuance and saturation rather than one of this magnitude.

3) Some people perceive any disagreement as conflict.

I saw several posts to the effect of ‘can’t we all just get along?’ And others insisting it was ugly in any color. However they attempted to agree with everyone and get everyone to play nice, some people were really stressed just knowing everyone on social media was disagreeing about something.

It’s not that I enjoy conflict, it’s more that I don’t perceive every difference of opinion as conflict. In reality we disagree all the time about things. Some people like a movie, others don’t. In a sense, every time you don’t buy a shirt because you don’t like it or would never wear it you are disagreeing with those who bought it.

Disagreement can be healthy and, when handled maturely, an opportunity to grow and learn more about the other people in our lives. It is the diversity that gives life flavor! It can also be exhausting to try and avoid/prevent/stop conflict because …

4) Some people approach every disagreement as conflict.

While this goes back to the people who always have to be right, this is another level. Some people feel compelled to correct people in a way that is more aggressive and off putting.

I recently went through multiple courses on alcohol laws and policies (for multiple venues where I work with a Booster Club, not because I failed any 😉 ) and they were consistently clear that when confronted with someone too intoxicated to serve, the employee is expected to diffuse, not escalate, the situation. You never tell the person, “You’re drunk.” Rather, you offer alternatives and, when necessary, state your unwillingness to serve them using I statements that are factual and morally neutral.

This means instead of saying, “Listen Dude, you are drunk and you need to go somewhere and sober up,” it would be better to say something to the effect of, “Would you prefer some food or water? No? Okay, I will not be able to serve you more alcohol. I can get you something else, though.” I loved how it was explained for two reasons – first, I absolutely hate talking to anyone who escalates a situation and, second, when I encounter them I have always thought it best to handle them as I would a drunk person!

I don’t have to buy into someone else’s perception or accept their beliefs just because they demand I do. I also don’t have to make a big deal about not doing so in order to make sure they know I am not. People who approach every disagreement as conflict engage in debate instead of dialogue, and see the issue in terms of winners and losers. It is ok to hold your position without needing to annihilate your opponent’s. It is even okay to not see them as an opponent and just consider them a person with a different idea.

5) Some people are really squicked out by the very fact that the human brain is capable of seeing something two distinctly different ways.

There were some of my friends who were weirded out that people were seeing the dress so differently. Others got weirded out when they began to see it the other way! It can be very disconcerting to some to be confronted by two separate yet simultaneous realities. I have some friends who ended the day very unsettled and saying they would not be able to go to sleep because of this.

6) Some people believe that the ‘factual reality’ of the dress, as seen on Amazon actually matters to the discussion.

These are the people who would post links and declare the matter settled as though we were all picking out a prom dress and just grabbed the wrong swatches. It seemed logical that once presented with the ‘actual’ dress, all of our perceptions should just get on board and correct our crazy brains. Others of us are very comfortable with acknowledging the reality of the dress and the reality ‘as we perceive it’ of the picture of the dress. Yes, I see the Amazon ad as black and blue. No, that does not change the reality that I see the photo of the dress as white and gold.

7) Some people care a lot more about these kinds of issues than ones that truly matter.

I say this with no judgement because, honestly I have no idea why some people threw themselves into this issue. If it was less stressful than, say, the reality of a dying loved one, then I don’t blame you at all! If you find this kind of thing to be a fun way to blow off steam then, as long as you didn’t hurt anyone, whatever floats your boat.

I do pause with my friends who stop at these moments and ask what happened yesterday that the media wanted us to not notice. There is a very real possibility that we thought we were debating the colors of a dress and we were actually caught up in a wag the dog. Anytime something like this makes the nightly news I admit I wonder what headline they didn’t want us to see.

8) Some people will jump in with ‘answers’ and ‘facts’ whether they have any clue what they are talking about or not.

I would say I can’t believe the number of ridiculous claims circulated yesterday, but I am not new to the Internet and very little surprises me anymore. Some seemed plausible, some ludicrous. Some admitted they were guessing, others claimed to be the original poster. Some were trying to be helpful, others were just trolls. Another reminder to use skepticism with what you read on the Internet.

9) Some people will get louder as they try to persuade the other ‘side.’

This is like yelling at people from other countries who don’t speak your language–utterly unhelpful at either communicating the information or teaching them your language. I may have told one friend that it didn’t matter how emphatically she insisted it was blue and black, that wasn’t going to make me see it that way. (Okay, I *did* say that. I publicly apologize. I should have been kinder – and this interaction is what started me thinking on these things instead of the actual dress so thank you!)

And 10) Some people will let this disagreement ruin their relationships and some won’t. You get to decide which you are.

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Introduction to Holiday Planning

Step 1 – Let’s Get Real

Step 2 – List It All Out

Step 3 – Express Yourself

This step is going to be the hardest for some of you, but if that is the case then it should also be the most freeing!

If, like me, you aren’t someone who pays a lot of attention to details, you will have spent years rushing out at the last minute to buy things you were missing for that big meal, or that last minute costume or craft.  Every year someone in my life will describe their gift buying experience by referencing the Friends episode where Joey and Chandler got everyone’s gifts at the gas station.   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Mi0EnuF4B0

Take your list of Have-To’s, and your list of top 3-5 Want-To’s and write each “to” at the top of its own sheet of paper. Now, break it down.

What is actually involved in doing each thing? This includes: the things you always remember and do early and easily, the things you forget until you start and then remember that you really do have to do X or Y, and the things you forget every single stinking time until when/if you’re in the middle (near the end? up late trying to figure out why it isn’t going right? ), and the things that someone once told you would make it even better.

Be thorough (however thorough you need to be to actually have a list that will help you). That should be enough to keep you busy for a few days, while I’m off playing in the snow and attending services and a wedding  

I’m hoping to work on my list and the break down this weekend 

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Intro to Holiday Planning

Step 1 – Let’s Get Real

Step 2 – List It All Out

This step has a few stages. If you find it overwhelming, take a few days to work through it.  Stop if you feel overwhelmed and take a break.  Just make sure you come back to it!

That list you made, however long it is, go through and somehow highlight all of the things you HAVE to do — by HAVE to I mean you literally have to.

Does your office do a gift exchange? That is a have to.

If your children are school aged, what events do they have to attend?

Is there a show you need to be at so that they feel valued and loved?

These are the TOP of your list!  This is what is there before any of your want-to’s are even considered.

If you normally feel stressed at the holidays, you may find that this list is extremely long and that is why you never have time for the things you want to do.  This means it may not be your poor planning and you aren’t a failure!  Feel relieved at this revelation!

The good news is, with some planning you should be able to get some “want to” events on the list and you can have more joy!  When you get stressed and want to walk away from the process, let this keep you going.

What’s really important to you?  

Now, after you highlight the HAVE to events, go through the list and STAR the most important want to’s. 

If something is a “meh, that would be nice,” or even a “but we always did that growing up, shouldn’t we do that?” just leave it without a star! This is only a list after all — no one will be arresting you for not starring that thing you resent but have always had on your list.  You don’t need to confess to your parents that their tradition of making cookies you hate isn’t going to be part of the traditions you pass on to your children.  

Now, and this may be the most important part of this step, transfer all of the starred items to a new list and RATE them. Rate them most important to least important and use whatever criteria you want.  If you’re struggling with how to rate things you can step back and think about the things you determined are important to you.  If something is a want to but it doesn’t meet any of the goals for your holiday, rank it lower. 

You aren’t saying anything is unimportant.  You are just putting out there how you feel about each of them (which ultimately indicates how much energy you are willing to put into each of them being pursued).  You already think and feel these things — you are now giving yourself permission to and you are going to only keep things on your list that you are willing to invest your limited energy and time into including.

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I hate to give a spoiler to my “How I got here” series I’m doing — you’ll have to check it out to get the details and the bigger story — but Sukkot is special this year.

In this last year I confirmed my Jewish DNA and began to uncover the ancestry through which it came.

As I stand in the sukkah and wave the lulav, I am imagining generations of men, women and children doing the same — all the way back to those who dwelled in sukkahs for 40 years.

I am thinking of their lives.  Of the places that I have traced them.  Of the regions that my genetic code revealed to me.  I am thinking of the times and seasons throughout history that they walked, survived, learned and did things that are stored in my very own DNA.

Jewish or not, of course God knows us intimately!  As He palpated us in the womb (Psalm 139:13), He was very aware of the history of our genetics. He sees inside of our being back a thousand years to those who loved Him.  He also sees those who did not, those who were His enemies.

Recently I spoke with another friend who has been looking at his genealogy and we marveled at how certain lines are so interesting — righteous people who only open (backwards and forwards, although every so often there are 3 or 4 generations that give you pause) into more righteous people.  One line I followed traced back to the Puritans and included all sorts of amazing stories of the pastors and church founders. (Also, one of the first couples to be publicly scourged in Plymouth for indecency — I can only imagine they looked at each other. Held hands?  Maybe she showed her husband her ankle.) Farther back, in medieval times, there were men and women who retreated to monasteries near the end of their lives — learning that validated how I’ve always known I would have been a mystic!  Something in my soul connected to them when I learned about them.  How unsurprised I was to reach a point where the family crest included a Star of David.

I realize that beyond a certain point there is no way to prove the names of the lineage. (Some records go way back, but some don’t. Since I’m not looking into my genealogy in a vain way, or to name drop through history, I’m okay with that.) I actually began the genealogy part rather skeptical that I would find anything.  As I expected, most lines that open up go back one or two generations, if that.  As my friend so aptly put it, the poor didn’t keep records.  The few lines that I have been able to follow that go back much farther have been interesting to me – even where none of the names are anyone you or I would recognize.  Considering how often children from adultery were folded into the family and how rarely records of baptisms contain the same date as records for births, etc., I hold much of the information loosely.  But so far, it has all matched what I know of my DNA and that is exciting.  It means that the information is more likely accurate, more likely revealing to me people from whom I come.  It means, at the very least, I’m not off on a wild goose chase.

God knows all of these things. He knew them when I didn’t. He purposed them!

He knows what each of us will be ready to start out doing because He knows the level of our branch and whether it is currently attached to His tree or not.  Will He need to call us back to Him? Or are we all ready to go as soon as our feet hit the ground? He knows what we are capable of and what we will be willing to be capable of.  He knows the depth of our faith and the intensity of our hope.

He knows us.  Intimately.

As I stand in the sukkah this year and look forward with wonder and hope to Messiah’s return, I am aware that we are on His timeline and not ours.  I pray that I will be one of the people in my children’s children’s (should He wait that long) ancestry who have righteous stories attached to them. I pray that from me will come a thousand generations who God remembers because of me.  I am so grateful to those God remembers when considering me.

When a prayer begins, “God of our Fathers, God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob,” it is asking God to remember them — to not just consider us, standing before Him as individuals who have confessions and requests.  It is saying, “When you look at me, when I stand before you, please remember Abraham, Isaac and Jacob too.  Please see them standing here with me.  I carry their DNA and they were found worthy.”

That shouldn’t bring arrogance — as though that makes us more important than someone standing before God who cannot invoke righteous genealogy.  That should bring humility.  It should bring gratitude. It should bring perspective that left to ourselves who knows where we would be.  And it should bring hope that, even with all they did wrong, they are counted by God as righteous — God can turn the weeping of our lives to joy and hope as well.  That’s what He does!

In case you missed them . . .

Thoughts from the Sukkah Part 1

Thoughts from the Sukkah Part 2

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You can read Part 1 here

Something feels hectic about life in a way that I have experienced in seasons, but not in my everyday. This year it’s been pretty regular.  I’m not sure if it’s because I have 2, almost 3, teenagers and they are branching out.  Or maybe it’s because we are involved in lots of things (though we always have been).  It’s not even all opportunities for fun we don’t want to pass up — it’s fun and obligations and appointments.

In the past I took comfort in the busy-ness of life. Now I long for rest.

I imagine that is somewhat how the Israelites felt wandering in the desert and dwelling in sukkahs.  They waited with anticipation each day, even while they were about the busy-ness of the day, for the Lord to move so that they could jump up and move with Him and remain in His protective cloud.

Some of what I feel inside is due to the fact that God has been moving me into a new lesson.  For years now He has been disciplining my impulsive nature until I will hardly budge without a clear sign from Him. Now He has informed me that I know His voice — when He is presenting something, my hesitation is costing me. Literally and figuratively.  The two times I have waited recently have cost me money.  No longer is He reminding me to wait and be cautious and that He will tell me when.  Maybe I’m settled into waiting and being cautious and don’t need those reminders anymore — what a strange thing to imagine after how long this lesson has lasted.

But isn’t that the whole point of Sukkot on some level?  When you know you hear God’s voice, you need to respond with obedience now. Otherwise you might end up dwelling in a sukkah for 40 years waiting for another chance to respond correctly.

Lord, please help us to respond to Your voice as soon as we know it’s You.  Please never cause us to dwell in sukkahs again — except every year in our remembrance!

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“May you live in interesting times.”

I’ve never really been sure if this is supposed to be a blessing or a curse.

I am definitely living in interesting times.

It seems everything in my life has changed completely from what it was last year at this time.  Okay, not everything, but so so much.

Last year I sat in our sukkah in a beautiful yard that was peaceful and serene.  I had green grass beneath my feet, blue sky above, a pool with a waterfall in my view.  While I was struggling with certain things in my life (when are we not?), I felt peaceful about what my life was and where my life was going.

Then I asked God to let me know if we were where He wanted us to be and doing what He wanted us to do — getting and being where we were was totally God, but was that still where He wanted us?

You know the saying about not asking a question if you don’t really want the answer? 😉

I did want the answer, but it’s one of those things where you don’t understand what you’re asking for or what all comes with the answer.  It’s . . . interesting.

This year our sukkah is at a different home — yet another opportunity to remind ourselves that the house in which we dwell is temporary.

This year our sukkah is in a much smaller yard that currently consists of only dirt — yet another opportunity to remind ourselves that we are from the dust of the earth and to dust we shall return.

This year our sukkah is in a yard that has been repeatedly ravaged by wind and the elements to the point that absolutely everything we have attempted in order to make it more beautiful has been blown away, snapped in two, or leveled — yet another opportunity to remind ourselves that our best efforts are not always enough.

Yet our life is full of so many good things.

Resources freed up for us in time for them to be needed.

I might have missed that if I hadn’t been asking God to please put us in the position we needed to be in for what was coming next.

If the Lord is with us, and for us, and directing our paths, we aren’t guaranteed to have everything we want.  We do have access to everything we need.

Whether we see that . . . whether or not we are grateful . . . reveals what is going on inside of us.

Some people are miserable in abundant times.  Some people are joyful and grateful in lean times.  It is perspective that determines which we are.

We can’t force our perspective to change, but we can be willing to change so that our perspective will mature.  We can be willing to live in interesting times so that we can grow and change and be challenged.  We can trust the Lord enough to get us through today — no matter what is thrown at us — and we can stop worrying about having enough faith for tomorrow, because trusting God today is what grows the faith we’ll need for tomorrow.

I guess that answers my question.  “May you live in interesting times” is neither a blessing nor a curse.  It is an opportunity.

Thoughts from the Sukkah part 2

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