The “M” word . . . Modesty

I somehow got the idea, growing up in the church, that humility meant making myself as small as i could be and taking up as little space as I could. There was this idea – especially and specifically attached to women – that the smaller I could make myself the more I was honoring God.

This inevitably meant laying aside the gifts and talents He had put into me so that I didn’t cause men to feel that i might be wanting to usurp their authority. It meant silencing my voice and trusting that God would take care of me when those around me didn’t see the need. And the more I suffered the more God was being glorified because when we are weak then He is strong.

Then I learned the understanding of the Hebrew words addressing ‘humility’ and not only was my mind blown but my life was forever changed.

Humility means that we are taking up exactly the amount of space that God created us to take up

Humility means that we are taking up exactly the amount of space that God created us to take up – no more (as that is being arrogant and trying to steal the space that God gave to someone else) AND NO LESS (as that is false humility that says God did not create me to be who I am and I must give more of my space to others because they deserve it more). Both taking up more space and taking up less space are BOTH a violation of God’s intended purpose and plan for our lives.

Revolutionary! Life altering! No going back!

This meant that living a life of humility really means:

  • exercising the gifts and using the talents that God gave me in the situations in which I find myself for the good of the Kingdom and the glory of the King!
  • not allowing others to steal my space, and when they try to I can trust God to be my defender and know that vengeance is His and it is actually Him that they are violating
  • And, this is important as it pertains to the issue of breastfeeding and modesty, when I am feeling offended it is because I believe myself to be entitled to space that was not given to me.

Modesty is the manifestation of our humility in our words, deeds, and presentation of ourselves to the world.

The way this relates to modesty is this . . . modesty is the manifestation of our humility in our words, deeds, and presentation of ourselves to the world.

Think about that for a minute.

If we believe ourselves entitled to more space than we deserve we will make a show of what we have and even attempt to create the illusion that we have more.

If we believe ourselves to be unworthy of what we have then we will present ourselves as less than and either give everything away or try to hide that we have it.

Both of those are immodest. One draws undue attention to ourselves and the other tries to give away something that God intended for us.

Modesty is about being experienced by others as an authentic and whole person who is not seeking to manipulate how the world experiences us.

Modesty that the Bible speaks of is living out healthy humility – it is about us simply being who God created us to be and doing what God created us to do without any extra effort to steal someone else’s space, or refusal to step up and fill ours. When this is expressed in dress, and all of the ways we present ourselves to the world, it is not about meeting some checklist of criteria for “modesty.” Rather, it is about being experienced by others as an authentic and whole person who is not seeking to manipulate how the world experiences us.

Is this modest if it's in the wrong period of time? What are my clothes inviting you to do with me? Nothing - they say I'm having fun!

Is this modest if it’s in the wrong period of time? What are my clothes inviting you to do with me? Nothing – they say I’m having fun!

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