Thoughts from the Sukkah 2019/5780 Day 3

So update on the suit . . . I mostly finished the jacket but when it was tried on the arms were a little too short. Not such a big deal but enough of an issue that I am going to stop and he’s going to wear the backup suit that I bought.

And this is where the shame lurks at the corners of my soul . . . the money that I spent, the time I’ve invested . . . my self talk is trying really hard to shout me down. Wasteful. Failure. Loser.

Thankfully I have my husband and a very good friend who are instead that I am none of those things and that the money was an investment. I will still finish the suit. I am even considering this a “master class” in suit making. I am a better person and have learned some super advanced sewing skills this week. It has been very worth it and maybe, just maybe, I needed this skill set before some future suit making event that I’m going to be really grateful I’ve got this. I’ve got young adult children so who knows what events we will have going forward.

I just threw out the idea that I might make everyone suits this nest year and the 3 males in the room were very excited about the idea!

The sleeves need some adjustments but single AND double welt pockets!!!

See, shame is not about guilt. I did nothing wrong. I owe no one an apology. I have nothing for which to make amends. I am not wrong. I do not have anyone to reconcile with . . . I have no guilt here.

I am disappointed that I didn’t get it done – especially after working so hard this week.

I’m also relieved that I made a back up plan and that I have the next couple of days to not be focused solely on this project.

But I’m rejecting shame . . . no time for that.

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