Photo by Anton Belovodchenko
The intro for what we’re doing will be something you want to check out if you haven’t already.
Once you have your list of holidays together, you can get started with the process of the planning steps, starting here. I’m counting this as Step 1 because making your list, while technically a step, is really more about identifying your problem!
The first thing I do after a holiday is evaluate it. Honestly, critically, sometimes even as it’s happening, if something stands out as wonderful or as horrible!
- What went well?
- What went wrong?
- What did I want to do but didn’t get done?
- What did I get stuck doing that I didn’t want to do and will resent if I end up doing it again?
A real honest evaluation of how the holiday went is about embracing the reality of how things actually are. Accepting what is may be one of the hardest things for some of us to do when it comes to holidays. We have the fantasy in our heads and we strive for that fantasy. If the holiday stinks, we blame ourselves for not being able to accomplish the fantasy.
What if the problem is the fantasy?
What if you are not the problem? What if you have unrealistic expectations of yourself and your family? What if instead of what you think you are doing (trying to pull off the best holiday ever!) you are just stressing yourself and everyone out doing something you don’t even want to do — something you think you have to do but you really truly don’t?
So be honest with yourself! What do you wish your holiday had been? Say it even if you think it’s wrong and horrible! Say it even if it leaves you feeling guilty! Say it because it’s the truth!
The truth is that there is not one right way to celebrate a holiday. Yes, some holidays do have things that are supposed to be a part of them — especially if you celebrate Biblical Feasts and Festivals. Beyond those things, though, there is a wide array of options for how to create your celebration.
If you don’t like turkey, for instance, then serve something else for Thanksgiving.
One year we decided that we did’t have room in our tiny house with growing children to put up a Hanukkah Bush for our decorations. So we strung lights around the ceiling and hung our decorations there instead. Yes, we had more broken decorations that year than ever before or since (and, no, we didn’t do that again), but it was beautiful and it made our holiday special!
If there are holiday “treats” that make you gag, stop making them! It will be Christmas without the fruitcake (trust me on that one 😉 ).
You are not celebrating a post card holiday. You are celebrating a holiday — you, with your family, and your friends. What do YOU want the holiday to be? What do they want it to be?
What if you are putting a whole bunch of effort into trying to make memories that no one wants? What would it look like if you just relaxed and did things you want to do and only things you enjoy?
Take a few moments and let this all sink in.
When it has sunk in, move on to Step 2.
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