to win the respect of intelligent people
and the affection of children
to earn the appreciation of honest critics
and endure the betrayal of false friends
to appreciate beauty
to find the best in others
to leave the world a better place,
whether by a healthy child,
a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;
to know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived -
this is to have succeeded.
- Emerson
I read this to my husband this morning, amongst several quotes, and he told me this describes me. I cannot express how much that blessed me-I cannot express how much he blesses me.
It takes a very special man to be my husband. I knew I couldn’t marry a weak man, because I would never respect him. But the “tough” men were all abusive in some way, or unable/unwilling to commit to a real relationship. I know lots of people say this to the point that it sounds trite, but God told me to marry this man. It was a still, small, strong whisper. And God had to tell me-my husband was so in awe of me that he didn’t speak to me except to say ‘hi’ and ‘bye’ the first three times we were together. He was a disabled vet and it wasn’t until we were married that his condition went into remission (I changed his lifestyle and his diet and he was in remission for over 10 years before things flared up-but we’re still keeping him way better than he would be otherwise). He didn’t have anything about him that was the stuff I was normally attracted to (even though I had already realized that what I was attracted to was not really a great plan). So God told me who to marry-and He knows me so well. I fell so deeply in love with him and all of the challenges of life have bonded us together.
It is my husband who encouraged me when I was wanting to go to Fuller, and then when I was overwhelmed at having a new baby and trying to finish my Masters. It is my husband who supported me as I wrote Biblical Parenting and then Grace-Based Living. When I would say it was too much he would ask what he could do to help. And it is my husband who occasionally asks when I plan to go back to get my Doctorate-which I will do, but I finally told him to let me get the children all at least into high school and studying on their own. So he hasn’t asked in a while 
The Bible speaks of Deborah’s husband, and calls him Lapidoth (torches). One Jewish tradition teaches that her husband was Barak, the military leader she went to with the wisdom that the Lord had given her. Barak means “lightning flashes”. This would mean that on the field of battle he was flashes of lightening going forth to burn his enemies, but on the homefront he was a torch that burned with contained brightness and warmth. This is my husband.
He was a combat engineer in the Army, was Airborne, spent time as an acting drill sergeant . . . he is not weak. He’s also very introverted, unlikely to speak in a crowd, and quiet. And he knew what he was getting into! I didn’t trick him into marrying me. I didn’t pretend to be one way and then change after the wedding. He actually told another guy to get out of the way and pursued me. That’s love.
And he knows me so well. So when he tells me this quote describes my life . . . I feel really blessed.
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