Intro to Holiday Planning

Step 1 – Let’s Get Real

This step involves making a list of EVERYTHING you want to do for the holiday next year. If you are planning out more than one holiday, you will want to list everything you want to do for each holiday — it might be easier to complete this process for one holiday at a time.

On this list you will include:

• the things you HAVE to do
• the things you try to shove in every year
• the things you wish you could do and never make it to (or even try to drag the family to, but end up frustrated with them that they can’t get it together) 

Make the list!  Put it all down.

The list is key because many of us have pictures in our head of what the holiday will be like.  Some of us have utterly unrealistic expectations of what is reasonable to do in one short period of time.  Some of us are pushing so hard to pack every ounce of fun into every moment of the holiday that we are creating a season of stress and misery for the very people we’re trying to force to have fun! The irony is huge!

The first time I listed out everything I was shocked!

Once we hit the first of September, and through the first week of January, we have:

4 family birthdays (including a birthday for twins that involves gift buying for two people)

4 birthdays for the family we are closest to and with whom we coordinate all of our birthday planning so as not to overlap

3 Feasts and Festivals

Thanksgiving (which we normally host)

Hanukkah

Christmas Eve with my family

Christmas Day movie attendance

New Year’s Eve

A New Year’s Day Wafflethon that we attend every year and for which we provide the Gluten Free/Allergy Sensitive batter

In addition, the last two years I added working at football games and a fundraiser that has me working at least 3-4 shifts a week (4 hours per shift) and unable to do much crafting/gift making at all because of the impact to my hands.

I do this step by going through last year’s calendar and looking at everything that is there. This way I’m not relying too heavily on my memory.  Then I added all of the things I thought I should be doing and was still beating myself up for not including.

Step 3 will be what to do with this list, but for now, just make the list.  If your list does what mine did and grows to over 6 pages, remember this is not a time for beating yourself up — the go-to response of people who struggle to stay on top of their lives.  Rather, use this opportunity to realize why you’ve felt so stressed in your efforts to get on top of things.

Set yourself up for success

None of the people you have compared yourself to — the people who always seem on top of their lives and have it all organized and are ready when the holidays come around — none of them are trying to do all that you are trying to do.  They do these things intuitively or learned them at some point.  You didn’t.  They aren’t better people — they just have these skills!

If you have unrealistic goals, it’s not fair to beat yourself up about not being able to meet them! Set yourself up for success! Extend yourself some love and grace!

As you do this step, please share anything you find enlightening or amusing — it can be super encouraging!

 

A healthy person is always looking for ways to preserve their power. The main way for any man comes to finding a healthy man viagra . When he finds the medication for a healthy sex, he takes pleasure and confidence. The right choice of product guarantees success in a relationship. Medications available over the counter. This method of purchasing guarantees all quality. Buy Viagra is to be bold.

The intro for what we’re doing will be something you want to check out if you haven’t already.

Once you have your list of holidays together, you can get started with the process of the planning steps, starting here.  I’m counting this as Step 1 because making your list, while technically a step, is really more about identifying your problem!

The first thing I do after a holiday is evaluate it.  Honestly, critically, sometimes even as it’s happening, if something stands out as wonderful or as horrible!

• What went well?
• What went wrong?
• What did I want to do but didn’t get done?
• What did I get stuck doing that I didn’t want to do and will resent if I end up doing it again?

A real honest evaluation of how the holiday went is about embracing the reality of how things actually are.  Accepting what is may be one of the hardest things for some of us to do when it comes to holidays. We have the fantasy in our heads and we strive for that fantasy. If the holiday stinks, we blame ourselves for not being able to accomplish the fantasy.

What if the problem is the fantasy?

What if you are not the problem? What if you have unrealistic expectations of yourself and your family? What if  instead of what you think you are doing (trying to pull off the best holiday ever!) you are just stressing yourself and everyone out doing something you don’t even want to do — something you think you have to do but you really truly don’t?

So be honest with yourself! What do you wish your holiday had been? Say it even if you think it’s wrong and horrible! Say it even if it leaves you feeling guilty! Say it because it’s the truth!

The truth is that there is not one right way to celebrate a holiday.  Yes, some holidays do have things that are supposed to be a part of them — especially if you celebrate Biblical Feasts and Festivals. Beyond those things, though, there is a wide array of options for how to create your celebration.

If you don’t like turkey, for instance, then serve something else for Thanksgiving.

One year we decided that we did’t have room in our tiny house with growing children to put up a Hanukkah Bush for our decorations. So we strung lights around the ceiling and hung our decorations there instead.  Yes, we had more broken decorations that year than ever before or since (and, no, we didn’t do that again), but it was beautiful and it made our holiday special!

If there are holiday “treats” that make you gag, stop making them!  It will be Christmas without the fruitcake (trust me on that one 😉 ).

You are not celebrating a post card holiday. You are celebrating a holiday — you, with your family, and your friends.  What do YOU want the holiday to be? What do they want it to be?

What if you are putting a whole bunch of effort into trying to make memories that no one wants?  What would it look like if you just relaxed and did things you want to do and only things you enjoy?

Take a few moments and let this all sink in.

When it has sunk in, move on to Step 2.

 

 

 

A healthy person is always looking for ways to preserve their power. The main way for any man comes to finding a healthy man viagra . When he finds the medication for a healthy sex, he takes pleasure and confidence. The right choice of product guarantees success in a relationship. Medications available over the counter. This method of purchasing guarantees all quality. Buy Viagra is to be bold.

I’m a very random person by nature — artsy, flitting from one hobby to another and then finding ways to mix it all together… I create experiences. I set the mood.  I am in tune with the people around me and when I’m in charge of something I try to anticipate needs, adjust the environment to suit the people… and 10 years ago today when my twins were born, I was terrified that we would never have a holiday or a celebration again!

I was invited to join a group that was all about organizing for Christmas. While we don’t celebrate Christmas in a traditional way, we do include some Christmas things in our Fall and Winter celebrations.  (That might make for another topic, but it’s not my focus today 🙂 ) Needless to say, the group was amazing and I learned so much!  We had a wonderful Fall/Winter holiday season and I was at the park with friends mid-November handing out individual pumpkin breads wrapped in holiday saran wrapping, tied with ribbon and handmade name cards!

Since then I have encountered the same approach to holiday planning in books and other resources and I’ve adapted it all into my own sort of planning.  Some years I don’t do much planning at all and just go with the habits I’ve got in place now. Other years feel a bit more chaotic or I know that things are going to be really busy and I will mentally go through my checklists and adapt things.  After last year, and realizing it’s been 10 years, it’s time to reexamine the whole system and adjust it for our lives today, since they are so different than 10 years ago.

How do you do it?!

As I was coming to the realization that it was time to look hard at our plans for Fall and Winter holidays, one of my friends posted on Facebook the very simple question, “How do people do it?”  How do they pull it all together in the busyness of life and pull off holidays without losing their minds or breaking their banks?  How does anyone get to the end of the year and, despite their exhaustion of energy and funds throughout the year, find the resources to go out with a bang of celebrations?

These questions are answered by the approach I’ve learned.  The heart of the answer, though, is that you don’t do it at the end of the year.  You start at the beginning of the year if you want it to go really well!  Well, you start at least mid year for the end of the year holidays, but I don’t only want a great Hanukkah!  I want great celebrations throughout the year!  Because my current reality involves many hours of working a fundraiser in December, I’ve come to the realization that I must have EVERYTHING completed by Thanksgiving — at least everything except the things that must be done in December.

The first thing I want you to do is make a list of all of the holidays you are going to be preparing for this year.  If you just want to do the end of the year holidays, that is fine!  If you want to include Spring holidays, birthdays, family reunions, whatever you celebrate throughout the year, put them on the list!  The more you do, the more intense each step will be. You even might want to start with one holiday (like Hanukkah, Christmas or  New Year’s Eve since they just finished and are the most fresh in your mind) and then go back and do the process with other holidays.  You know yourself, do whatever is going to help you internalize the process and not overwhelm you!  The whole point is planning things out so you won’t be overwhelmed — no point in overwhelming yourself in the process 🙂

Next I’ll tell you what to do with the holiday(s) on your list, but for now, just pull your list together.  If you feel a bit of panic realizing how many celebrations you’re trying to pull off in a calendar year, relax and be glad you’re going to be getting on top of them this year and think about how much you are going to get to enjoy all of these events compared to years past.  This year you get to be the one impressing others.  How cool will that be?

 Step 1 – Let’s Get Real

Step 2 – List It All Out

 

A healthy person is always looking for ways to preserve their power. The main way for any man comes to finding a healthy man viagra . When he finds the medication for a healthy sex, he takes pleasure and confidence. The right choice of product guarantees success in a relationship. Medications available over the counter. This method of purchasing guarantees all quality. Buy Viagra is to be bold.

Minnesota Running Back Adrian Peterson was indicted in a child injury case in Texas.

According to the articles and statements that have been released, he used a tree branch to “spank” his 4 year old son.  The case involves alleged “reckless or negligent injury to a child.”

I do not want to focus on the details of this case, because I am not the judge or jury. I also don’t think that another voice needs to weigh in on it.  Considering Texas’ general hands-off policy, and their absolute love of all things football, the fact that this case is moving forward indicates that this is a case that has to move forward.  If I’m understanding Peterson correctly, he hasn’t denied any of the facts in the case – he just insists they don’t constitute abuse.

So what is abuse?  And, perhaps more importantly, what is a  “spanking?”

Where is that line?

Lots of people claim to know where it is – often tossing out there that common sense can guide you.  So do we just decide that those who cross the line have no common sense?

It is in situations that seem to cross that line that we find the loudest people screaming that it was only “discipline.”  That’s why this case has pushed the issue of spanking back into the forefront of the national dialogue.  Some say Peterson crossed that line, but Peterson insists he did not see the line people are upset about.

There is no agreement among parents, theologians, and “spanking experts” about how to spank.

The Bible does not teach how to spank. There is no definitive “line” we can all point to.  It is a 100% subjective line based on far too many things to go into one blog post.  But that’s the problem, isn’t it?  If there is no line we can all agree upon, we will continue to have parents who insist that any injury caused was unintended and does not mean they were abusive.

The thing is, someone who intends to abuse is a sociopath.  Actual abusers are using unhealthy/dangerous actions and words to exert control on someone who should be able to trust them.  Abuse isn’t about intention – it’s about control.

Disconnect

This is shaping up to be another great example of why a literal reading and application of the rod verses in Proverbs is resulting in great harm being inflicted on too many children.  I know Peterson’s son isn’t the only child being “disciplined” this way – nor is he the only child being injured by this type of discipline.  I addressed issues with how the rod verses are being interpreted and applied here. http://crystallutton.com/you-keep-using-that-verse/

According to his attorney, Rusty Hardin, “It is important to remember that Adrian never intended to harm his son and deeply regrets the unintended injury.”

I don’t think anyone is arguing that Peterson “intended” to harm his son. I’m also sure he does deeply regret the “unintended injury.”  The problem is that the “unintended injury” is a predictable outcome of the action of beating a 4 year old child with a tree branch.

The problem I see in this case is the incredible disconnect between the actions of a grown man, the size of an NFL player, procuring a tree branch and beating a 4 year old child with it and, while getting the branch and moving to the action of beating him, not realizing that causing him injury would be a very probable outcome.

What can be learned?

Peterson has stated that this is how he was “disciplined” and that is why he believed it to be a reasonable choice in “disciplining” his own son.  The sad reality is that in order for Peterson to come to terms with what he did being abusive he will have to wrestle with and accept that he, himself, was abused as a child.

And that means he is perpetuating the abuse that was inflicted on him – which is what abuse victims so often do.

I am heartbroken at reading these words in his statement made on Twitter:

“But deep in my heart I have always believed I could have been one of those kids who was lost in the streets without the discipline instilled in me by my parents and other relatives.  I have always believed that the way my parents disciplined me has a great deal to do with the success I have enjoyed as a man.” https://twitter.com/AdrianPeterson/status/511586600346599424/photo/1

Which brings me to the lesson I think we need to learn as a society.

Ultimately we, as a society, failed Peterson when no one stepped in and stopped his parents – and other relatives – from abusing him.  We will continue to fail him if we fail to loudly declare, in response to his defense, that his own actions are abuse.

We cannot imagine that this case is as simple as an isolated event with yet another NFL player who is caught up in the aggressive reality of football.  We cannot convince ourselves that this is just about him at all.

We will continue to fail OURSELVES if we don’t understand that our own failure to stand and speak up for children and their safety is because we are as immersed in a culture of abuse as Peterson is.  Every time we do something because it was done to us, or excuse something because it happens all the time and lots of people turn out fine, we are doing exactly what Peterson is doing.

I hope that we can take this as an opportunity to wrestle with the reality that how we treat our children says a lot about us – about how we were treated, how we think we deserved to be treated, and how we were taught to treat others.  Like Peterson, we cannot continue to say that we’re only doing what was done to us and act surprised when someone gets hurt based on the fact that we turned out fine (or even great).

No one “deserves” to be treated that way.

No one is better because of having been treated that way.

No one is doing a good thing to their child when they treat them that way.

We have to stop being surprised when there are “unintended injuries” to children who are spanked.

And we have to stop imagining that the only times spankings result in damage are when the injuries are visible or when the parent doing the spanking is caught.

 

A healthy person is always looking for ways to preserve their power. The main way for any man comes to finding a healthy man viagra . When he finds the medication for a healthy sex, he takes pleasure and confidence. The right choice of product guarantees success in a relationship. Medications available over the counter. This method of purchasing guarantees all quality. Buy Viagra is to be bold.

I was wanting to blog this morning and was pondering ideas when a friend pinged me on facebook and asked about how I do our monthly meal planning.  I decided to make that my topic of focus this morning – it’s almost time to do it for September so what a great way to get myself on the right page!

I try to plan our menu for the upcoming month in the last month or so of the month we are in.  Doing this takes the stress out of  “What’s for dinner?” and has saved us a lot of money.  When we don’t know what’s for dinner we are more tempted to eat out (even though there is really only one restaurant where we can eat) and I’m more prone to impulse buys at the grocery store.  By having a plan I know that if something looks interesting and new I either have to bump another dish or put it in the plan for next month.

I start with a calendar in front of me and look at the month. What is going on for the month? Are there holidays? Birthdays?  Trips? What are my busy days and what days will we be away from home?  We observe Sabbath from sundown Friday to sundown Saturday so I try to have Friday’s dinner be a large enough meal that we can eat it on Saturday for lunch as well.  Once I have an idea what our month looks like, I start filling in meal ideas. We have specific things for breakfast every day, and we’ve changed to having our large meal be our midday meal. This allows dinner to be leftovers or a light meal.

If we’ll be out of the house all day or have a very busy day I think crock pot or simple meal.  If we have company coming I want to make sure the meal will be enjoyable for them. If there is a holiday or a birthday then I make sure, before the month even starts, that I have a plan for the meals involved.

Some months I feel inspired to try new recipes and there are lots of new things. Some months I feel uninspired and we have the same meals every day each week.  For instance, Monday is spaghetti night, Wednsday is stir fry, Sunday is Mexican food, etc.  Most months I sort of mix it all up and some days are set in stone while others are themed and others are more creative.

Once I have the list of recipes I am ready to begin my shopping list.  I first look at what I already have in my pantry (if I’ve got something super stocked in my pantry I try to make sure that I plan meals that will use that ingredient, so if I go to check my pantry and realize I have 20 bags of pasta I might add pasta meals to a few more nights that month).

After I have the list of ingredients, and know what I already have, I consider what can be bought in advance and what needs to be fresh. Everything that can be bought in advance goes on my monthly shopping list and is bought at the first of the month. Yes, it is somewhat discouraging to have money go in on the first and a large chunk of it come out within a day or two.  It is also incredibly encouraging to know that no matter what else hits us that month we have the food to make our meals!

Ingredients that need to be bought fresh are put on my weekly shopping list and I make a point of going to the store before I start needing the ingredients for that week. When I’m super organized I check the weekly mailers and either price match or figure out where to go for the ingredients.  When I’m a little less organized I try to hit Sprouts on Wednesday when they have the specials for two weeks in effect. At the very least I get to the store and get the stuff!

There are some things we keep on hand for backup meals, or if plans go sideways and we have to scramble for food.  There can be less of this when I’m organized and we have a plan. We are more likely to switch meals during the week than resort to our backup meals when things are laid out and purchased for the week.

I really believe that food nourishes the body, but the preparation and service of the food nourishes the soul.  There is something safe in knowing that there is always food for your hungry belly, and you can feel secure in a home where you know you will be well fed.  The type of food might change depending on income or activities for the month, but there will always be food.  It’s a good feeling.

A healthy person is always looking for ways to preserve their power. The main way for any man comes to finding a healthy man viagra . When he finds the medication for a healthy sex, he takes pleasure and confidence. The right choice of product guarantees success in a relationship. Medications available over the counter. This method of purchasing guarantees all quality. Buy Viagra is to be bold.

I love vacationing with my family and when we go places with our friends it’s even more special.  We just returned home from camping and I want to say this up front:  The families we went with are some of our dearest friends and nothing I’m about to say should be counted against them in any way. They made the trip worthwhile. And, for some highlights, let me say I enjoyed our time around the campfire each night; I loved watching my children on the lake in both a kayak (brought by our friends) and our blow up boat; I love being in the woods and enjoy the breeze through tall pine trees; and I loved following the family of elk (7 of them!) who wandered by our camping spot and then found a field to play in.  I loved seeing the rock fort built by some of the boys and the wooden/tree fort built by some of the others.  I love that we brought glow sticks because every campout should feel like a rave!

All that said . . . I’ve finally accepted that tent camping is the Napolean Dynamite of vacations.  Everyone else seems to love it, they go often, they have great stories from when they go that make it sound so fun.  I try and go, try it in a different place, try it with friends – even friends who love camping . . . but I just don’t get it.  Nothing else in my life that I am doing for fun is more work for less reward.  Even though a couple of my kids enjoy it, I just can’t imagine going again as a family.

We’ve spent a week on a boat in a dock – loved it!

We’ve camped in yurts up North with a wood burning stove and a hike to the bathrooms – loved it!

We’ve slept on people’s couches and floors as we’ve made our way long distances – loved it!

We have stayed in temporary housing and hotels – loved it!

But TENT camping . . . . the amount of stuff we have to take is ridiculous.  We are so glad we have a trailer and yet frustrated that the only van that can tow the trailer broke down on the way up the mountain. We spent over an hour waiting for the tow truck in over 100 degree AZ heat, then had to pay cash for the trailer to be towed (we’ll be able to submit it to the insurance company but are out the money until then), and were thankfully able to go to the ONLY place in Prescott that was open on Sunday and he was able to fix the van for $32 . . . the reason being that the people who replaced our radiator after a previous camping trip (seeing a trend here???) didn’t bother to do a tiny thing that would have made it all work.

Back on the road we finally make it to the spot (3 hour drive took us over 6 hours) and then . . . we literally have to build a house!  No going through a door and plopping on a bed.  No deciding where to eat. We had brought our dinner already made, but we couldn’t eat it (despite how starving we were) until we had put up the tent and the gazebo and set up the kitchen area so that we had the plates and forks and such . . . and then we could eat.

After such a great day heading up it was no surprise that some of us spent our only full day there sleeping LOL  Wanna go for a walk?  No, thank you. We did buy a pump for our little row boat – but then we thought we weren’t going to get to play with it because it started raining!  It stopped, we played a bit, we went back to camp.  We played a couple of card games, that’s nice.  Then it’s dark.

Our last day at camp, today, found one child covered in mosquito bites (yes, out of 7 people only one got attacked), one child so miserable he tried to sleep until we kicked him out of the bed to pack up, cold food we were too tired to heat up, and the opportunity to break camp – which just means undoing all the work we did a mere 2 days ago.

Now we’re home – van and trailer unloaded but still not put away because I’m exhausted. Can’t start the laundry until 7pm, but it will get done tonight.  I’m showered (my reward for driving the whole trip is to get to shower while everyone else unloads) but everyone is starving after that long drive and it’s time to come up with something for dinner.

I really think I’d love to try the whole outing in an RV . . . but for now, I surrender.  I just don’t like tent camping!

A healthy person is always looking for ways to preserve their power. The main way for any man comes to finding a healthy man viagra . When he finds the medication for a healthy sex, he takes pleasure and confidence. The right choice of product guarantees success in a relationship. Medications available over the counter. This method of purchasing guarantees all quality. Buy Viagra is to be bold.

I wanted to share the guest blog post I was asked to do and drive some traffic to my friend’s blog!  Comment here or there if you want 🙂  It’s a touchy topic and I know there are lots of opinions. I hope mine encourages some of you.

Is Circumcision the “Christian” Thing to Do?

I have dealt with this issue personally as people question our position on it.  One thing I want to add is that I believe when Messiah returns He will be perfectly capable of causing anyone who needs to be physically circumcised to be so and He will sort it out.  I absolutely believe that God is concerned about our physical bodies and our acts of obedience.  I also believe that He is more concerned with our spiritual state of obedience and our efforts to live faithfully to what we understand.

I think the main key is to wrestle with the text.  When we do that, we can sort out with the Lord what He is trying to teach us.  We can live according to our convictions. We can be faithful to what we understand. It will always be limited. We will often get something wrong. But we can answer to the Lord for our actions and He will know we were doing our best to be obedient.

 

 

 

A healthy person is always looking for ways to preserve their power. The main way for any man comes to finding a healthy man viagra . When he finds the medication for a healthy sex, he takes pleasure and confidence. The right choice of product guarantees success in a relationship. Medications available over the counter. This method of purchasing guarantees all quality. Buy Viagra is to be bold.

Tuesday, April 30, 2013, is National Spank Out Day!  It’s a day set aside to promote alternatives to spanking and to educate people about the risks to spanking and the benefits of alternatives.

If you’re new to Grace-Based Discipline, I encourage you to head over to www.aolff.org and read the articles there.  You may also get a lot of information from the public forum for Gentle Discipline at Gentle Christian Mothers.

To encourage parents to reconsider spanking, and to support those who are already putting the effort into parenting without spanking, I’ve made Grace-Based Living available for 50% off. It’t just for Spank Out Day, so spread the word!

***A quick note to say that there may be a longer delay for changing the price on Amazon and Kindle than we realized.  When it changes, we will leave it up for at least 24 hours, so just check back if it hasn’t changed yet when you first look.   Now we’ll know for next time – always learning new things 🙂  If you don’t want to wait and you are looking for the book (as opposed to the Kindle) version you can always get it from the CreateSpace bookstore 

A healthy person is always looking for ways to preserve their power. The main way for any man comes to finding a healthy man viagra . When he finds the medication for a healthy sex, he takes pleasure and confidence. The right choice of product guarantees success in a relationship. Medications available over the counter. This method of purchasing guarantees all quality. Buy Viagra is to be bold.

Samuel Martin is an amazing man who has spent so much of his time devoted to studying out the Scriptures and determining what they really say about parenting.  He’s as sure as I am, after my studies, that they don’t teach spanking/corporal punishment.  We might still be in the minority of the outspoken people, but we know there are a lot of people who agree with us – even if they think they are being disobedient to God’s Word!

He is giving away his ebook for free so you can get a copy for yourself, and for someone else!  You can learn more by checking out his facebook page Samuel Martin  and, while you’re at it, check out the facebook page for Arms Of Love Family Fellowship.  Like both, and on the AOLFF page it would be great if you would share your story of how you came to question spanking – and your favorite GBD tool!

A healthy person is always looking for ways to preserve their power. The main way for any man comes to finding a healthy man viagra . When he finds the medication for a healthy sex, he takes pleasure and confidence. The right choice of product guarantees success in a relationship. Medications available over the counter. This method of purchasing guarantees all quality. Buy Viagra is to be bold.

I’m very excited because I was featured as an expert in a eHow article Raising the Stakes:  Bedtimes, Allowance and Responsibilities.  The author was even wonderful enough to include the name of my book!

I am so excited that Grace-Based Living, and the principles I’ve devoted myself to trying to share with the world, is getting this kind of attention.  I’m really grateful to Terri at Para Public Relations for handling my PR.  She’s family, but she also really knows what she’s doing!  I’m glad to have her on my team.

I should add, as well, that the article on eHow is a great article, in my not so humble opinion.  The other quoted experts have great things to say, and the author of the article put everything together in such a way that it’s no wonder they are one of the top 50 sites online.  If you’ve got questions about this topic, you’re going to want to read the article.

A healthy person is always looking for ways to preserve their power. The main way for any man comes to finding a healthy man viagra . When he finds the medication for a healthy sex, he takes pleasure and confidence. The right choice of product guarantees success in a relationship. Medications available over the counter. This method of purchasing guarantees all quality. Buy Viagra is to be bold.